Sunshine smiles, but the heart is sad. I write this as I recuperate from my Long flight back. The bed feels too big, and too empty, so I am comforting myself by going through the last few pictures of our amazing week together.
Ah, how good God is, to gift us with perfect sunny weather for the vineyards! San Luis Obispo was so unpretentious — I’d love to come back. Wine tours, are not my thing– but Denn loves the grape. Me, I loved the sunshine and the neat little rows. And the lovely Eberle poodles.
Denn also checked us into the Madonna Inn– which is a really cool inn with different feature rooms. We were in the Yosemite room with rocks and our own little fireplace; and little CD were in the caveman room. Tons of fun. Even better than the rooms, were their steakhouse. I wish I had pictures. One of the best steaks I’ve had.
So little D’s SUV had to stay at the workshop, and we have left SF in Denn’s little convertible. Not the most comfortable of rides but I really couldn’t ask for more. Feeling extremely thankful to be able to be here in the first place.
We’re driving towards San Jose, but I don’t know where our destination is at this point. It doesn’t matter, because I am in excellent company and its the journey that really means something to me. Anywhere, with You.
Oh, come on, sing it with me: “All the leaves are browning/ and the sky is grey/ I went for a walk/ On a winter’s day.”
We are doing a lot of walking (by my standards) and it was a lovely day to walk to South Park, and catch a little sun. Maybe I just miss having someone’s hand to hold. Denn confided that he has been waiting for me to come over, he misses having someone around to do the couple things with, like walk around the park.
Today I had breakfast with my Favourite boys, at a lovely little French patisserie, the Butler and the Chef. Very Parisian, but what would I know, I have never been to Paris. The Hot chocolate was lovely, but I did not enjoy the country ham as much as I expected to.
I took 3 nights to settle into the jet lag; it’s already Tuesday over here. A couple more days left, it’s already feels like the vacation is nearly over. Denn has been working a fair bit yesterday and today, and growled at me more than once. Ah, love, how I miss you surly so.
Little C brought me out for some shopping, and I should not have walked into Saks off 5th, which was discount Saks. Cos I ended up buying things I did not know I even needed– like that Marc Jacob diaper bag. Tsk, bad influence, that one. But it was nice just being out and about w Little C, have missed her so. Even if she encouraged me to buy 4 pairs of shoes, when I only needed 1.
Jet lag means you wake your reluctant Husband at 7 am to go for breakfast. I am not used to not having 24-hour eateries (everywhere in +65, FTW!) and we ended up waiting outside the Cliffhouse for an hour before they open. The clam chowder and steamed clams (clams clams, we can eat them all day) were well worth the wait! Loved the pot sticker rolls but we ate them too quickly, no pictures.
Someone got some seagull poop on his 328i and was not happy. Little C only cheered up after coffee, and finally forgave me for waking (and asking –somewhat fearfully — her out at this somewhat ungodly hour.
Dinner was a lovely affair at SPQR. Lovely names on all the dishes–like “fairytale eggplant”, gimme now, thanks. Dinner was wonderful, dessert blew me away. Roasted strawberry ice cream with meringue .. Oh i was too busy stuffing face to take down the description. Yums.
D brought me on a Long drive after dinner– to see the Golden Gate Bridge and Bay bridge; and a walk through the Palace of fine arts. The last was so heartbreakingly romantic, what a lovely end to a night out. Photos not mine, didn’t have a good enough camera to capture it. Photos from Wikipedia and Google images
What a first day, with my forev Boyf, who made it all about me rather than himself. I even got a gift!
Hah! #presentfail, but it’s a very D thing to do– its the heart that counts, and I will treasure it so. His criterion of buying gifts for me : pink and sparkly. Oh, I love this man so, tacky $5 bracelet et al.
Blessed birthday, sweetheart. The depth of your love surprises me, even after 8 years. Forever, in electric dreams.
I love plane rides. There is nothing to be done on the plane but rest, be quiet, read. In the company of strangers, where one can truly be oneself– ugly sleeping face and snoring, for all I care; they do not know me, or care to. That one safe haven away from the Internet — no texts, no phone calls. Me time. I pour over the pages of my book, I watch the movies i meant to but never did.Denn will attest to me sleeping for hours, take off to landing. DND for meals.
This flight is different, somehow. There is a nervousness, in the clench of my stomach that causes my eye to twitch and my shoulder to stiffen. I am restless and I can’t explain it. I protest! I was looking forward to this solace! I thought I would be sleeping my way through the flight! 2 tabs x novomin (I have bad flying ears) 2 hours ago; but here I am, sitting in the dark, still searching for Mr Sandman.
Is this the difference being a Mother? Am I worried about little Elizabeth back home, hence the unsettled being? Someone said having a child is like having your heart permanently outside your body. Maybe this is what it is. My solace has now become my vulnerability. I worry, what if she is having her bout of colic again? What if she finally learnt to make that turn in her sleep? What if what if.
My sister told me, I will learn to deal with the guilt of leaving her behind. That I may even cry enroute to the airport. Well I didn’t. I went for a 3 pm meeting that took me to 4.30 pm (coincidentally the client offices are at airport terminal 2) and then dad and I hung out for an hour at terminal 3 with some coffee. I packed my schedule so I did not need to deal with this emotion of leaving Elizabeth behind. I Guess this is why I am awake now?
The world conspires against me. Usually on flights there would be some people watching the screen or reading or working. Not in my segment! What is going on guys? The whole cabin segment is asleep! I just took a walk around. I don’t even see the crew! Twilight zone much? Perfect sleeping environment! Can you tell I am stressing out over nothing?
*post edit: was a blessing in disguise that I couldn’t sleep on the plane, as I arrived SFO at 8 pm last night! Dinner then bed, a lot easier after sleep eluded me on the plane! Am hoping this jet lag would pass quickly!