R is for restless


Tick tock. Cannotsleep is back. Sometimes, like somewhat of a benign ghost he hovers above my bed, finally getting bored after a while. But tonight, the little turd sits on my chest and refuses to give me respite.

I didn’t go back to sleep last night, after pixie so unceremoniously woke me up, at 3 am. Couldn’t fall back asleep, I blamed the shock; I blamed oona’s restless moving about; I blamed the weather; I blamed the pillow configurations; heck I even blamed Denn, who was fighting his own battles to fall asleep.

But tonight, in the silence of my room, I haven’t got anything to blame it on this time. I made sure pixie wasn’t trapped in the cupboard; banished oona for the night (she is sleeping with my sister); I have the ceiling fan, vornado at the foot of my bed, and the air purifier on so the room is super cooled; I only allotted Denn his sleep pillow and the big stuffed rabbit so I have access to all the other 7 pillows to test and fling around ( I married such a patient tolerant man); and Denn is sleeping quietly and still. Nothing to blame.

I swear profusely in my head. Nothing like insomnia to bring out the gutter talk of youth. At least it’s not out loud. Ok, I slipped up once or twice. I am very frustrated. I should be very tired, no? With catching 3 hrs of sleep last night plus the 2 hr nap I caught before dinner. It’s 3 am again; and I have to be up in an hour to send my parents to the airport.

So I’ve given up. I decide to read my book, then sleep when I get back. Perhaps the morning drive would clear my head and reset the sleep refusal cycle that my body is going through. Before I have to wake up to send Denn to work.

I have a long day tomorrow; and I’d probably be chugging ningxia red like a cold can of coke on a hot day. Last meeting at 6 pm; piece of cake. Ha! The hysteria bubbles up. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to going to bed as soon as I am done.


C is for cupboard



This is Pixie. Pixie is a little pint-size (literally) dog that thinks she’s somewhat human. She would only sleeps on pillows, refuses to walk on grass and has a quick temper that makes all the other dogs in the tribe fear her. No one else would eat from the same bowl she eats from.

She enjoys getting her daily groom, she only approaches when she wants to. She also has a lot of trouble waking up in the morning– she ignores you and pushes her face flat into the pillows when you attempt to rouse her. Her favourite activity is to watch celia-tv. My very own Mona Lisa. She has her eyes glued on me whenever she’s around. Awww, you say. But in the middle of the night when you find a little gremlin sitting on your chest or pillow just staring at you, it’s not so very cute. This is a nightly affair, and I’ve grown quite used to it.

I am awake at 3 am, with a racing heart, because pixie fell asleep in my t-shirt cupboard and got trapped in there. I was looking for her earlier at 10 pm, because she was not to be found anywhere in our room. We searched under the bed, in the bathroom, everywhere. I figured she was either with my sister (who has an exam at 8 am so I didn’t want to wake her to check), or with my parents (she sometimes wanders in after me, and gets trapped behind closed doors). I even commented to Denn as we were turning in that I was feeling bad for Pixie because my parents sleep with the air-conditioning on super-cold and they had no rug for her to sleep on if she had really gotten trapped in there. (They just came back from a long drive from Malaysia and I wasn’t going to wake them to check either).

So Denn and I have been watching this Korean series on ghost-haunting which is actually really quite scary (Master’s Sun). Went to bed by midnight. 3 am, and I wake up to the sound of some loud banging. 4 times then silence.

Wasn’t going to wake Denn (he’s really creeped out abt things like that). But somehow instinct found me throwing off the covers and needing to check it out. Better than living in fear of the unknown. Was actually pretty calm.

Was pretty sure the sound came from the cupboard in front of my full length mirror. On hindsight I’m Actually rather impressed to have directional awareness since it roused me from pretty deep sleep. Thought maybe it was a rat or something, or Bronco walked into the cupboard door etc (he was missing from the bed, also has been known to happen).

Turned on the room lights, threw open the cupboards — Denn woke up at this point — and pixie sprung out. She must have snuck in there to nap in my clothes sometime after my shower and gotten trapped.

She is sleeping peacefully in between us now. But Denn and I are both wide awake, reeling in shock.



D is for dreams

On days like these when I am feeling very blue and pensive, I dream of what kinda life I’d lead, if I weren’t so teetered to reality as I know it. There is no secret, I am very drawn to the sea. Perhaps one day we’ll sell everything, buy a boat-house and sail the seven seas. But tonight the dream is to open my own little tiki bar.


(Random photo online, if anyone knows somewhere like this tell me! I’d love to go)

What business I have (pun un intended) to open a tiki bar, i do not know, since I neither drink alcohol or coffee. But it’s my dream and I’m entitled. Serve up icy cold drinks with them little paper umbrellas, or iced teas with fruit bits. Grill a squid, garnish a hotdog. (Maybe a steaming bowl of udon — perfect for when you get the chills from a good swim)

My dogs will run in circles on the sand, yapping and having the time of their lives. Throw them sticks, push a flower into my hair. When it’s quiet in the afternoons, I’ll nap in my hammock under the shady tree– or read a book. Or write a book.

Music will be the likes of jack Johnson and I’ll make these seashell necklaces just because I can.

I’ll sleep in the back room, and at nights my friends will pop by to chat or eat a meal. Or come and nurse a cold beer on the wicker chairs I will have, outside. Oh, the stories of love lost and found, we will share. My old girlfriends will wolf whistle at these young surfer punks, and scoff at all the skinny girls in bikinis walking by. We were once a size 0. And the boys, will shoot some pool, play a little dart, or some poker with the waves of the sea in their ears.

My little place will be strung full of fairy lights. And I’ll hide little notes for customers to find– in the cracks of the wood of the tables, under their seats. Every table will have little coloured napkins and mismatched plates. Clink clang of Wind chimes will fill the air. And every table will have a herb. Which I will visit to pluck the leaves I need for the cooking.

And when I get bored of it all, we’ll just close up for the winter, and travel. And when we had enough we’d come back and do it all over again.

v is for vexed

when i am in no mood to read — i know trouble is brewing. i’ve finally found the word to describe my mental state. vexed. no mood for work. no mood for food. no mood for exercise. no mood for books. no mood for games. no mood for puzzles. no mood for tv shows. no mood for dates. no mood for sleep.