Tick tock. Cannotsleep is back. Sometimes, like somewhat of a benign ghost he hovers above my bed, finally getting bored after a while. But tonight, the little turd sits on my chest and refuses to give me respite.
I didn’t go back to sleep last night, after pixie so unceremoniously woke me up, at 3 am. Couldn’t fall back asleep, I blamed the shock; I blamed oona’s restless moving about; I blamed the weather; I blamed the pillow configurations; heck I even blamed Denn, who was fighting his own battles to fall asleep.
But tonight, in the silence of my room, I haven’t got anything to blame it on this time. I made sure pixie wasn’t trapped in the cupboard; banished oona for the night (she is sleeping with my sister); I have the ceiling fan, vornado at the foot of my bed, and the air purifier on so the room is super cooled; I only allotted Denn his sleep pillow and the big stuffed rabbit so I have access to all the other 7 pillows to test and fling around ( I married such a patient tolerant man); and Denn is sleeping quietly and still. Nothing to blame.
I swear profusely in my head. Nothing like insomnia to bring out the gutter talk of youth. At least it’s not out loud. Ok, I slipped up once or twice. I am very frustrated. I should be very tired, no? With catching 3 hrs of sleep last night plus the 2 hr nap I caught before dinner. It’s 3 am again; and I have to be up in an hour to send my parents to the airport.
So I’ve given up. I decide to read my book, then sleep when I get back. Perhaps the morning drive would clear my head and reset the sleep refusal cycle that my body is going through. Before I have to wake up to send Denn to work.
I have a long day tomorrow; and I’d probably be chugging ningxia red like a cold can of coke on a hot day. Last meeting at 6 pm; piece of cake. Ha! The hysteria bubbles up. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to going to bed as soon as I am done.