it has been hell-week here at tamarind; and i can only be thankful its over.
it has been a week of tears and shouts and tired bodies and weary hearts (and a very stressed out prefect over streaming & others); it has been not only tiring but one in which everybody second-guesses everyone else and this general helplessness and disgust.
i wish you’d be more interested in this; but you’ve made clear you rather keep the distance from this; and i don’t blame you; i just wish you were here for me.
the pea and i had a rather eventful weekend, to say the least–details include parentals on both sides asking strange questions.
you were sorely missed at grad night.
we took a picture (or two or a few more) for you.
i’ve recently been rather obsessed with images of people with this kinda skin tone; hollywood calls it roses and cream, or is it peaches and cream. i do not know.
yes i do know makeup is a biggggg part of it, but i just can’t help love the contrast and freshness of the skin tone.
everyone’s been asking what i am gonna wear to prom night. well there’s no label, just a dress i had tailored a year odd back for a wedding. i had no time (with the busy buzzing like a bee) and clean forgot about prom and have no time to go shopping/to the tailors. i don’t care if its not brightly coloured enough, its not white or black and that should suffice. and i don’t care if its too formal–its prom damnit. and don’t tell me if it doesn’t fit me right. ignorance is bliss, hahaha. i last wore the dress more than a yr back–and boy. have i put on pounds since!
:) i will however be wearing my lovely gold snake skin shoes (oh, its lovely) and be carrying my lovely gold kate spade bag (its lovely too!).
i’ve been up for what seems like the entire night and morning, worrying, about everything, and seriously questioning if i will get through this alright.
the night-thoughts have their way of making humble shells of us all, and our doubts and panics remind us that we’re no superheros, not at all.
its 9 am, and i’ve been up for 4 hours now, with tons to do, and all. i wish it would be easier, i wish it could be easier–but this was this uphill climb they all talked about, and that even-steeper learning curve she warned about.
i knew i had it coming with the work and the discipline. but i hadn’t seen the massive attack on the self-esteem.
i ate 1/2 the jar of nutella (the huge ass 750g jar) last night at 2am.
please stop reminding me, everytime i talk to you you bring me right to the same topic which i’m trying to forget.
at some point parents stop talking to their offspring as children, don’t they?
this home, is no longer a refuge, and i hate the new house, and the new space which we do not need.
people ask, gee whiz c, what’s the source of all this anger?
why don’t you try, to have disturbed sleep everyday for 2 months, and wake up to the sounds of pounding and drills and tile-cutting? why don’t you try to talk to her when she cuts off phone conversations midway or calls you to yell in your ear about lunch arrangements, or him who assumes because he eats breakfast you do too, and insists on a happy chirpy disposition (when everyone who knows me knows to stay clear till at least an hour in), and proceeds to tell you how slow things are progressing and talk about responsibility and discipline before stomping off in a huff.
we studied IDEO a while back in strategy class, and i think its an amazingly creative environment to work–and i hear the pay’s not shabby either!
this is the video made by some guy for his interview, i would so totally hire him, wouldn’t you? he projected it on his t-shirt during the actual presentation
find his blog here