hello mean girls.

today i had the distinct displeasure of sitting behind these two ladies, in their workout gear, at the restaurant. they were about my age, each carrying a fancy brand bag with their gym bag. i was having a meeting, and they were obviously just done with their gym class, having a little confabulation about the birds and the bees and other tasty morsels of their lives which they felt the other tables around them (ie me) needed to hear. they clearly felt it was okay to talk openly to each other about their various bedroom hygienics (which killed my appetite), and then went on to talk about that friend of theirs who became so fat. and they were quite brutal about it, calling her names and whatnots.i mean, it was just plain mean. they discussed asking her out with them both, so the one who hasn’t seen her girth, can see for herself.

well, at this point i was seething, although it was completely not my business. i had to mentally stop myself from leaning over to tell them off, but self-control prevailed. so as usual, i bite my tongue and imagine what i would do, if i weren’t so humchee. my favourite scenerio, is to walk over, and hold out my phone with this picture on the screen:

carrie blood

“Remember Carrie??”

so after 45 minutes (their conversation went on throughout my meeting), i grind my teeth and say to myself, this has nothing to do with you.

but i look at these girls with their flat stomachs, permed hair in a pony tail, and think, ” you all so mean for what??” if i wanted to be mean, right seriously, here’s the dish: one of them has terrible skin, under her copious layer of foundation. her eyes are too close to each other and her eye brows are misshapen. her mouth is crooked. not to mention, she has boobs, but no figure. and she needs to work on her enunciation. the other one, her ears stick out and she has a cho-pek. (you know, the banana face). She is totally flat, like hello, i dont even see mosquito bumps where mosquito bumps should be. this one has volume control issues. totally skinny, but i guess you can pass off for a really tall 7 year-old. squinty eyes. not a face i will look twice at. why must you be so mean to your fat friend.

i ask myself, when i am out with my girls, are we like that? do we tear another person apart just so we can have a few laughs for ourselves and to make ourselves feel just a little better about ourselves? why are girls always so fixated about the physical appearance? (say i with my newly bleached highlights). i train kids on body esteem. i tell them that there must be a limit to dieting and to exercising, there reaches a point where you must say “i’m fine.” without consulting the weighing machine. but so what, at the end of the day, beauty fades. (dumb, is however, forever). there are bigger things to think about guys. like God saying sorry to Kong Hee.

so before i left, as i bumped my over-sized ass out from between our tables. i said to them “thank you for the entertainment ladies, the whole restaurant who heard you have learnt so much from you”. the table on the right of them laughed out loud.

At the end of the day, what’s left of us is really grace. Grace.


hello new zealand, revisiting my first trip

my first trip to new zealand was in 2007, with my best friend. it was one of those epic, coming of age trip, that leaves you forever changed. i read through my blogposts during those times, and i realise, i went there without any idea of what it would be like, with only the assurance of my best friend that she would not forget to come and pick me up from the airport. (She left the week before i did). i went with a heavy heart. see, there was this boy who told me in no uncertain terms, he wanted more than this “dating” limbo we found ourselves in. he said to me, let go of all the hurt, and let him love me. i was so hesitant, because i had barely put my heart back together from a previous relationship, then gave it to someone else that was never to be mine, and now, i didn’t quite dare to fall in love again. i told this sweet boy, i’ll tell him when i come back.

let me show you, dear reader. this place i ran to, when i needed to sort myself out.

everywhere a postcard.

and mind you, these photos were taken by either the hufflepuff or myself with a simple point and click digital camera. unedited.

P1030918 P1030933OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA P1030917 P1030913 P1030908 P1030847 P1030932 P1030945

we celebrated my birthday, in a little tavern, where my best friend nearly singed my eyebrows off. see, she brought these long candles, and carted them around in her luggage throughout our trip. and the waitstaff at the restaurant tied them up cos they couldnt stand straight. all 22 of them. (i’ve included this photo, my hufflepuff, because i know you will have a giggle fit over it. )


so i came back, on the 24th of dec 2007, and i told the boy who picked me from the airport, almost with tears in both our eyes, that yes, we will give it a shot. nearly a year ago, i married that boy in a simple ceremony amongst friends and family. where else, would he have brought me for our honeymoon?

Hello needy

The aftermath of my tiny tantrum two nights past.

It’s not easy being a lawyer’s wife. For that matter I should think its not being anyone’s wife. But today, and last night, I thought myself more as a lawyer’s wife than Denn’s wife. And therein lies the problem.

See, they keep awful hours. Missed dinners, missed calls, going to meet with couple friends and explaining he is going to be late, if he even shows up. There is the crackberry which he is glued to, a million conference calls and an endless amount of work to clear. When that is done, there are these nefarious time sheets, billables and office politics to deal with. Somedays he comes back dragging himself to the shower then to bed, unable to utter another word after “hi, it’s been a long day”.

A couple of nights ago, dad bought a porterhouse to share with Denn. Dad waited up for him till 10 pm for both to eat their dinner. (I ate my porridge early – the teochew boys had enough of porridge)

So I’ve been feeling somewhat neglected, or ignored lately. Maybe it’s the stress of the impending Greece trip coming up or the fact that I have this choking kinda cough despite 3 trips to the doctors that is really getting to me. Either way, been rather needy. So sick wife + busy Husb + PMS = c throws a tantrum. In a flurry of tears and sniffles. Maybe long overdue.


So on thursday, despite coming home at 12 mn, he stayed up till 1 just trying to comfort and appease, and while I basically behaved like a brat. Not my proudest moment; but he cajoled and cuddled the dark cloud away. I wish I had a fraction of his patience.

and now that THAT storm has passed, Reminder to self: love bears all things.

I’m not trying to air dirty laundry, but this is my space, without pretences or guise.

Hello my new old friends




Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this reunion would take place. I thought somewhere along the line we drifted (i from them) so far to salvage, but look where we are. How lovely, to be around this bunch again. Takes me back to sixteen (don’t I wish!!), what a happy place.

Just a simple steamboat, with lychee martinis, awesome dessert and a cheese board– but everyone sat down together, after more than 10 years.

Life brings you in funny circles, and I’m not complaining.