Sometimes I look at G and I think about how intricate God’s handiwork is – from the whorls on his head to the curl of his ears, to his little hands and feet – how did he cast the design blueprint, that we are so wonderfully made?
This child, we have asked for: I’ve fretted over, cried over, laughed over, hurt over. Pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park: bleeding, severe nausea, symphysis pubis dysfunction, right to the excitement of 1 Aug — when we discovered I was 6 cm Dilated at our gynae visit.
At week 33, we learnt that the cervix had softened and shortened, then, start of week 35 we learnt we were 2 cm Dilated. So it wasn’t a surprise to us to learn there were more developments at our next (few) checks.. and then.. nothing happened. No water bag breaking! I had a few rumbles in my tummy (which I later learnt were contractions) and the mucus plug (which is quite as disgusting as it sounds) fell off rather uneventfully– but no labour onset.
So, 6 cm in, baby G was not engaged – we went for a walk and lunch, hoping to jiggle him in place. Had a fall down some steps and what a scene that was – it’s not funny falling down at 35 weeks pregnant – and I couldn’t walk thereafter. My pelvis (which already was sore), felt completely busted – every small movement hurt and we knew from that point that G would come within the day or two. we made it to week 35 at least!
So we elected c-sec, but since we ate lunch, we had to wait for 9 pm surgery. our wonderful gynae told us we can still try for natural, but G must engage – her concern was that G’s head (95th percentile) couldn’t fit. At the 8.30 check, he was neither engaged or anywhere close, and i Guess he couldn’t wiggle his head into the correct spot, so we went off to the Theatre and the rest is history.
Since then, two weeks have passed and G (for all the drama) has since settled into a calm, quiet (mostly), and gentle child. I wonder if this is just a newborn preemie thing, or if things will change over the next few days.
Grateful, because God was faithful when he promised to take care of me (us) through the curve balls life throws. Grateful, because D has been nothing but patient and kind over the last few terse weeks. Grateful, because family has stepped in to pitch in with E and G – be it sleepovers, school runs, baby sitting, meal preps. Grateful because so much love has outpoured from friends – who accompany me on night duties via chats, who send gifts, who give mespace to sort myself out (thanks!), who drop encouraging lines on fb which I see when I’m feeling frustrated, bummed or discouraged, and who pop in for a sniff and a cuddle despite their crazy schedules – and tactfully do not mention that i am badly in need of a shower, change of clothes, and personal grooming. Grateful for work partners and team, who pick up the slack and keep things going so my mind is at ease.