yes, i have been silent for a while, and a few of my friends have called asking if this blog has been shut down because of the lack of my end-of-year post (usually written in the wee hours of the last day of the year). i am still alive. my inactivity here is largely due to this weird onset of a condition whereby i seem unable to put my thoughts down in writing, i dont know why, it has never quite struck me this badly before. its as if my usual bursting-to-write-about-this-bug has been taken over by this write-a-blog-post-OOH!!-pepper-needs-a-bath! distraction.
i have been telling the pea, over and over again, that with each passing day i feel a little stupider, and language seem to elude me. it does not help when i steal a peek at the pea’s iphone game of scrabble and have to ask him what most of the words mean. see, i write as if i am twelve, what happened to elegant prose, or poetry. its downhill from 25, i am living proof.
so i turned 25 this year (see how my thought run-ons become so obvious). a quarter of a century old, that’s me. for the past 2 months, the pea tells me, whenever i don’t understand something and ask for an explaination, that i’d understand when i’m 25– my 24 year old brain just can’t process the information yet. turning 25 made me feel old. too old to be unmarried (bye bye 24 year old bride). too old to be wearing t-shirts. too old for the clubs. too old for beach weekends. too old for foolish afternoons spent going to the karaoke. too old for midnight movies. sheesh. too old for saying sheesh. i have never felt this way about turning a particular age before– suddenly the weight of what-you-should-have-accomplished-by-now feels so heavy, and i ask myself if i had any learning done in the past year at all.
it has been a very fast year:the company hasn’t really grown much this year, although processes have been streamlined, contracts extended. the pea is back from NYC with his masters. the baby sister is not so baby anymore having completed her O’s. the older sister had a baby! the puppies survived their first 3 months. the hufflepuff started work. friends got married. the pea moved in– for 6 months now.
i dont think when i am 40 i will look back and remember 2010 definitively, that makes me feel a little sad. this year was a couple of highs and lows, but not the drastic kinds. did the biggest presentation of my carreer, and was thankful daddy was in there with me to give moral support. the pea and i have settled down into a very comfortable zone where we’ve more or less kept our fighting down to a minimal.
took two holidays this year (yes, it is rather excessive). june to new york, dec to new zealand. i loved new york when i was there. i love new zealand even when i am back here. what’s there not to love about the land of L&P? i went to the official L&P cafe, in Paeroa, where it all began. (that’s another post for another time)
this year, my wish is simple: really to do at least ONE important thing everyday. you know there are some workdays that just bleed into each other, without anything significant. well i want to do something sigificant everyday.