I’ve always been more or less ambivalent about Chinese New Year. I don’t mind the dongdongchiang music, I love meeting the rest of the family that we only get to see once a year, and the general bustle of the season! I even love the mandatory spring cleaning. Growing up, it was all about the new clothes, the secrets whispered with my cousins at the park, the school holidays! One memorable one where my Father would not speak to me, but that’s a story for another time. What I don’t enjoy really, was being peppered with questions: Boyfriend? Married? Babies? More babies?
How hypocritical of me.. I found myself asking the same questions, and listening intently for answers when others ask it of my cousins. Maybe not so directly, but I found myself asking the same questions in different words last year. It broke my heart when a Friend whispered that they had a miscarriage over Christmas but she wasn’t ready to talk about it. It broke me, in many ways because I realised how I, for no reason, except looking for a conversation starter, dragged this poor couple through an experience they were trying to deal with.
So this year, I resolve to not ask. It’s not that I’m not interested. I just think it’s not a loving gesture to put on pressure for those not ready, in relationship status or if they are dealing with something that really should be a private affair.