see, i am very envious of those couples you meet once in a while– kids in tow, careers on track, a place of their own, pretty fancy clothes– and you wonder, how did they do all that, have all that, and still remain as in love as the day they said “i do”.

its easy to bitch about them– he comes from money anyway, or she is so fake– but the truth is, i question, is it a bone-deep envy that makes us look for the flaws in their characters, rather than the secret of their success? is it a god-centered life? is it taking risks? is it having a wide network of friends across different industries? is it inherent smarts? or perhaps diligent smarts? is it their commitment to being relevant in today’s world rather than dream their life away?

tell me the secret!



angsty morning, because the phone beeps at 9 am, waking me up on the one day this week that i can sleep in (alarm set for 10 am, not very late– but better than my 7.30 mornings)

angsty morning because i see friends travelling and i am jealous. because this is den’s call break and the start of a new project, no holiday on the horizon, any damn time soon

angsty morning because some people just say yes, then no, then yes, then no until there’s no energy left to even care what the final answer is.

angsty morning because everyone says “free up your time for more important things, don’t do operations yourself” but they don’t see how important starting right is. and they keep talking, without understanding there is no other choice.

angsty morning because i know one day i will look back and have a good chuckle over this period, but right now i want to pull out my hair

angsty morning because i had a bad dream last night, and i woke up this morning with the dream resonating in my head.

angsty morning because i am tired of having to take instructions shoved down my throat. its always their way or the highway.

angsty morning because i feel lousy physically– still feeling under the weather, but i have to get up and go

angsty morning because it seems family and close friends dont understand the concept of “I’M BUSY! STOP TRYING TO GUILT ME OVER MISSED GATHERINGS AND DINNERS” because i have no mood to entertain. i am just trying to get this period over and done with. please give me time.

postcards from nowhere

the boyf is on call break, but he spends every (unpaid) sweaty day with me, carrying goods, training staff, serving counter, driving vans, every night till 9.30 pm– when i know he wants nothing more than to go away for a much-deserved break, or sit home and play his wargames until his eyes bleed.

have i mentioned, i am thankful, beyond words?

when he goes back to work, i will miss every blessed ferry ride.


photo credits: clearing not me, as i am a non-camera-hp carrier; googled it and found it– but so many use this same image i dunno which the source is.