angsty

angsty morning, because the phone beeps at 9 am, waking me up on the one day this week that i can sleep in (alarm set for 10 am, not very late– but better than my 7.30 mornings)

angsty morning because i see friends travelling and i am jealous. because this is den’s call break and the start of a new project, no holiday on the horizon, any damn time soon

angsty morning because some people just say yes, then no, then yes, then no until there’s no energy left to even care what the final answer is.

angsty morning because everyone says “free up your time for more important things, don’t do operations yourself” but they don’t see how important starting right is. and they keep talking, without understanding there is no other choice.

angsty morning because i know one day i will look back and have a good chuckle over this period, but right now i want to pull out my hair

angsty morning because i had a bad dream last night, and i woke up this morning with the dream resonating in my head.

angsty morning because i am tired of having to take instructions shoved down my throat. its always their way or the highway.

angsty morning because i feel lousy physically– still feeling under the weather, but i have to get up and go

angsty morning because it seems family and close friends dont understand the concept of “I’M BUSY! STOP TRYING TO GUILT ME OVER MISSED GATHERINGS AND DINNERS” because i have no mood to entertain. i am just trying to get this period over and done with. please give me time.

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Author: c

my world, out of your reach

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