in the past 2 weeks, at least 6 different people have asked me, with various degrees of subtlety, if i had a bun cooking in the oven.
“no, not yet”, i say to them. “i’m just getting fat la”.
i guess i grew up a scrawny kid. all limbs, and really, flat as a board, front and back. high metabolism; and my friends will attest that i really can eat. i have a really long upper body, which is good and bad when fitting clothes. but i never really had a body esteem issue; save only to constantly ask God when he would be sending me boobs and a butt. i mean he gave them to my older sis, skipped me and was very generous to the younger sis. i was quite happy putting on weight for the wedding because extra weight meant i had a semblence of a figure.
somewhere along the lines of poor eating habits and really-hectic- forget-to-eat workdays, my metabolism slowed to the point where my doctor worries about me having an eating disorder. due to some chemical presence in my bloodstream, which is found in starvation victims. i dunno what it is, and really the medical terms escape me. so basically i eat so infrequently that my body stores food, for fear of starvation. see, up to maybe 2 weeks ago, i never really realised i was only eating one meal a day (dinner), much less see what’s wrong with that. i dont have an eating disorder. i have disorder eating. haha.
my sisters are the same. we’ve all never quite eaten at proper meal times. just look for food when you’re hungry. unless dad was around. or when we were around dad. dad eats three square meals a day. and fruits inbetween if he’s hungry. the rest of us eat whenever. i just didnt realise whenever was erm.. once a day. i just didnt get hungry/ forgot to eat. seriously!
so i’ve put on 8 kgs since my wedding. and i wasnt even dieting prior to the wedding. and since the wedding i stopped going for yoga.
my clothes dont fit. my face got rounder. my short dresses became skanky because it now rodes up my hips. (i have hips!)
and now this stupid conundrum: i have to eat more to lose weight. my metabolism is now depressingly low, somewhat in hibernation mode, according to the doctor who tries to explain this in terms i would understand.
crap. now what!?
the younger sis says she’ll work out a work-out programme for us. i said: no running, or weights. she says okay and will look for something near home.