its three in the morning, and while i know i should really have been asleep hours ago, part of me wants to stay up and stare out at the starless sky, out of my window. there is a stillness here in my little room, everyone else is sound asleep and there’s only the sound of the ceiling fan, and my fingers across the keyboard.
pixie had a bad dream, gave a yelp and darted out of her bed. walked to the water bowl, had a drink and settles back down in her bed. i walked over to give her a stroke and a noserub and tell her its alright. peps and bronco are sleeping shamelessly sprawled, on their backs, on the bed with us, oblivious.
oddly, new york nights pop into my head. when i’d sit by the window in the spare room because i’m reading and i didnt want to disturb dennis with the reading light. ever so often, every couple of minutes, there is a siren, or a toot from a car. the streetlamps, the headlights, the underlying noise of being in the city. i am thankful my room is blessed to be facing backyards, mine and the neighbours. it is silent and dark out there from my window.
how peaceful, how quiet this all is. calm. i want to forever remember this feeling of being at total peace with my lot. too many thoughts, phonecalls, responsibilities fill my days, it is only at night, at 3 am in the morning i realise i’ve finally wound down enough to rest. it is such a delight, to be able to be up this late, this quiet, this at ease with the world.
on nights like these, i whisper a prayer in thanks, that God gave me this quiet time of stillness. it is neither my right nor something i take for granted (also because i usually fall asleep in a state of disquiet), and i am thankful my God is an all-encompassing provider.