sometimes you make me feel like the shittest friend ever, because you’re always there for me, whether it is to accompany me on long drives, haul cartons (and cartons and cartons) of soda up flights of stairs, solve all my computer woes, or find that crazy elusive book i NEED, within the hour and send it over to me.
i completely understood your writing, in a way that i wish i didn’t because i know now, how hurt you are about this whole issue. seriously– after all this, maybe you should stop to think, she’s not all that l’oreal, and instead of six pence you should be channel your inner little lily allen.
but you’re just like that, always falling for that wrong person that uses you without giving back. and i think you’ve got it sorted it. awkward pauses, grouches, silences, its okay. hey, we all do that to each other from time to time. but the underlying friendship has to be worth it, because when only one side is giving, then the other one will sooner or later get very tired of the whole affair (pun unintended). i don’t need the most reliable, even-tempered friend. i only want a friend who genuinely cares. i think that’s what you deserve anyway.
no loss there babe. next time you have moolah for pagan postage, let us know, maybe we could all meet up in some foolish corner of the world, and enjoy good food and conversation. i promise you wont have to sleep on makeshift bedding. and when you get back here for good, i’d let you spend all your liquid gold driving us around.
take care of your heart. read the books i recommended– it will give you some respite from this turmoil. rest. it will get a little better everyday.