pause a moment.
your good friend, like H, comes up to you to say his then-gf broke up with him because he lacked ambition, and drive, and that he was childish. then finds out she’s already sleeping with someone else, and he finds out more details than i think its appropriate to share here. further the gf, with a good twist of linguistics and perhaps a mind that was over-hurt by the crumbling relationship, makes it out to sound like it was all H’s fault that she slept with the other guy.
To what would you say to H? as his friend. as his friend, angry that your friend was hurt, this badly.
at this time the pea and i took time to be there for him, and comfort him, and in the process of that, like how everyone says encouraging things to the cheated and say dispparaging things about the cheater, we said some things to him. not with the intention of insulting the cheater, but to be comforting to H. to cheer him up, we joked about what’s the worst things H could do to her, things about her past that we knew. all these said to merely cheer up H, not to attack her personally. why would we? we werent the ones cheated on, and H is old enough to make his own decisions.
but H, then goes and spills everything out to the gf– from the comments we made to our ludicrious (and influenced by too much alcohol & mosquitos & happies) suggestions.
can you imagine the backlash?
now H has done it again, over another girl.