missing him

a few days back, d and i stopped the car in his estate to talk–away from people and away from handphones. and we saw a maid walking 2 dogs, away from us. a golden retriever and a german shepherd. 

my heart actually ached. literally.

i miss cooper, with a very fiery ache. 

i see his breed everywhere, even in my place of work. and i always turn up my nose because they are short-coated, or ugly-snouted, or too puny-small, or no-distinguished expression or look. something is always wrong. and i thought it was just me looking through tinted lenses. 

but No. it is the Truth, that Cooper really was a superior specimen of his breed (except his legs were too long) but i still haven’t seen another one i’ve been bowled over. his long shaggy coat, his keen ears, his huge bones, his many varied expressions, his gentle nature, his insecurity without mango, his ability to pose for pictures. but most of all, most of all (and here the tears start) i miss how he’d let me cuddle him for as long as i want, and how he can actually fall asleep cuddling.

the prefect took this picture:

it’s not cooper.

it is one of his siblings from 2 batches below, when we went over to take a look at the puppies out of curiosity. they do look so fantastically alike. unfortunately cooper’s mom died after this litter, and so did his father soon after. so therein ends the line. i wish i wasn’t so aggrieved then, i would have thickened my hide and asked for one. bought one from them even, at full price, just for a bit of cooper here with me.

they’ve all found good homes so i hear. thankfully the family that owns them is close to dad–i do wish we could get one from the next generation. oh, i would call the new pup CooperTwo. 

most of all, i miss those sunday naps with cooper.

cooper’s ashes are buried in my garden, if i look out of my window i can see the spot underneath which the urn lies. 

so for now, i guess i’d soon have a part of him, through CooperTwo.

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Published by

c

my world, out of your reach

2 thoughts on “missing him”

  1. I do too. Its funny of all the dogs we’ve had and lost, this one seems to stick. And a crazy-selfish part of me doesn’t like it that Mango is cozying up to Simba, though that’s also a sweet sweet dog.

    :(

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