reluctancy

can’t help but feel that there’s a swarm of bees residing in my head–this dulled throb, this crazy buzzing that refuses to leave me or grant me rest from the many issues and infestations of my own mind.

its crazy, they say i take the easy way out, she says i’m always taking the easy way out. but at nights in the quiet of my own room, i marvel and wonder how in the world is this the easiest way. and the worst part of it is: there’s nowhere to run.

sure it’ll be great to hear “you can do anything, because you’re you, and i’m right behind you”, but its pointless when the originator doesn’t mean it, or snorts in disbelief behind your back.

i haven’t been writing much, i know, i apologise that some of you don’t get your weekly fodder to discuss over lunch with your pals, begining with “guess what c is up to?!”, but really i couldn’t care less at this point because my bathroom has no toilet bowl, my dogs are caged up and have been for a week (the cage is about half the size of my room, so no cruelty issues), and i am just generally in a funk, so those here to sniff around, go jump off a building, its much more fun.

for friends, like Z and Q and S, i miss you guys, i wish i could have been there, sorry my phone died last night. i hope you guys get stuff good these next few weeks whether in bumming or working or travelling to the lovely old country. ( i havent forgotten our date in 2017–ten years, on national day, from the date of planning)

Yanong: when are you exactly leaving?

Lavi: i want to join the abc class too, sounds how fun la.

Cher: we’ll do coffee soon. next week!

debs& stef: send me the ONE picture we have together pls!

li&ting: what would i do without you guys?

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Author: c

my world, out of your reach

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