something ticks in my head these days and i haven’t been able to sleep. my dog whimpers in the night, and my boyfriend gives the occasional snore, but otherwise its silent in my room, save the whirling fan and the bugs that sleep in the garden. my dog lies sprawled on his back, balls exposed. the boyfriend sleeps in the same position, but has pants on.
the days have flown by in a blur. i missed both my ex-boyfriends birthdays. and i only realised i forgot on the birthday of my ex’s ex. ie, sera’s birthday, on the 27th. d and i were talking in the car, and i turned to him and asked if it was already july, and he said “no, its the 27th” “of June?” incredulous stare “yes, of course –..of june” “hmmm, sera’s birthday” “who?” “seraphina. you know, ryan’s seraphina” second incredulous stare. “why the fuck do you know sera’s birthday?” flashback of her yelling at R & i in the park on HER 21st Birthday. “erm.. well..” then i go on. his atm pin used to be a combination of both their birthdays, naturally i remember her birthday well. d stares at me, and mutters, “you’re a funny girl”. and i laugh at myself.
like i said, R’s birthday on the 24. S’s on the 27th. K’s on the 18th.
stop. rewind. i am having a conversation with my boyfriend (whom my mother called son-in-law just tonight at dinner) about my ex-es. and get this, he’s totally okay about it. d asks, “when’s A’s??” and the little bubble pops in my throat, it seems though A doesn’t quite qualify as ex, they all seem to ask me about him in such conversations. took me a while to recall the date–eight of nov, happy belated A. well i missed all their birthdays. happy belated boys, if you read this at all. i am not shrugging it off, i am genuinely busy and i really forgot.
happy birthday sera, if you even remember who i am, i hope life has been better to you since your 21st birthday.
i didn’t forget d’s birthday–but he did remind me weeks in advance that it was coming. i bought him dinner and then a round of drinks for the boys, who came down for the surprise. we both cant remember what the gift was, but he certainly remembers his last birthday with a cheeky grin.
i am tired. but i cannot sleep– not after knowing such delicious dreaming last night, makes me wanna lick my lips and purr.
happy birthday melbourne boys–may the night winds carry these secrets to your ears.
Filed under: musings
